don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
