I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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