If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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