you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
