Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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