My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
