So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
