Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
