He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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