Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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