i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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