We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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