I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
