so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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