I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
