butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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