dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
