After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize