Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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