alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
