Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
