OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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