So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize