What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize