i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
