i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
