I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
