pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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