Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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