Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He shit in the fireplace
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