It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
