Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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