Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
