shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
