I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
