the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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