all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
