I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
