I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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