i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
