Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize