Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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