What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
