I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
