why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
