I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
