...so i touched it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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