The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
A bitchslap is in order.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
