My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
