so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
