honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
