I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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