Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
