It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
