I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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