so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
