WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
