CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
