508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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