its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
