oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
