lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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