He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
