I hate your face
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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