i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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