I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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