I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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