brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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