So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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