Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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