do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
