At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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