I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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