Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
