You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
