at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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