so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize