ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yo dont text me then not text me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
