she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
