i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize