Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
