Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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