Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
