nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
is that a dick in a sweater?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
