Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
