Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize