So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
